30 Weeks :: Let the Hormones Rage

It has been a week full of its own ups and downs...I can't believe that I have 10 weeks to go...I am so much closer to the finish than the beginning.  A finish I felt would not come soon enough-now I'm thinking it's coming too quickly!

I have noticed the hormones raging...increased crying over anything, "major" or not.  In fact, I've cried every day for the past 5 days...God help my poor husband!  At least, I know it's normal.  I feel like I'm back to being the 14-year-old in the 26-year-old's body...quite frustrating at times (more so for my poor hubby, I'm sure!).  At least I'm not breaking out with horrible acne again.  At least not yet.  I am easily overwhelmed again and sometimes being overwhelmed makes a wave of crabbiness rise up within me that I have a hard time controlling.

I've felt a lot of stretching and pulling and I think I pulled a muscle while laughing last week at something my boss said (is that possible?  I meant to ask the doctor today, but I, of course, forgot!).

My lower back aches sometimes and sometimes I feel a bit restless, particularly while sitting and waiting.  That's new.  I feel a bit blue easily (probably the impetus of the crying) and so find it a bit harder to stay positive.  This I am also blaming on the hormones.

Declan is at least 3 pounds (normal development according to my Dr. today) and roughly 15.7 inches long (quite specific, I know!).  About one-and-a-half pints of amniotic fluid surrounds him, and his eyesight is continuing to develop but is still not very good (I would not expect it to be, what with the low light conditions and all).

I do enjoy narrating what Declan's up to when he is kicking.  Many times, it doesn't feel like kicking--it feels like somersaults, back flips, kick-boxing with my bladder or stomach, or just plain river-dancing.  I find that intensely amusing.  I still like when he kicks and sometimes find it difficult to fall asleep 1) when he kicks 2) when he doesn't kick.

I have found myself craving foods now (yay!? I feel like a real pregnant lady now!).  The other day it was home made mashed potatoes (like my dad makes; so much butter = unlimited yumminess!) and pizza--but not together.  I also feel like I'm in an "eat everything" stage as just about anything sounds good.  I am also enjoying the enhanced sense of smell as it makes the foods I eat tastier.  One of the bonuses of pregnancy, in my opinion, along with actually housing new life and feeling the kicking, and "glowing" and being "huge" and not really caring.

I had a quick doctor check up today and all is well.  Yay!

We got some more ultrasound pics this time...I've scanned them and they are below!  So exciting, even though I feel like I cheated just a little with the 4D pics...even though I didn't ask for them.

~*~*~*~*~*~

I had an interesting insight the other day.  I was trying to explain to my hubby why I feel like pregnancy is freeing and I hit the proverbial nail on the head:  This is the first time in my life that I'm not self-conscious about my weight, shape, or body.  The first time since I before junior high that it is not in the back of my mind to worry or compare my body to others'.

That is why I feel so free.  I actually find this realization incredibly telling and am grieved over it.  Apparently, without completely realizing it, I was comparing myself to others and putting myself down about how I look or don't look on a regular basis--I think it may have been a tape running in my head on repeat.

Now that I know this, I have the opportunity to change it!  I say, "No more!"  No more will I believe the lie that I'm not enough and cannot be happy with my body no matter the size.  :)  God has created me to be exactly who I am, size and all, and loves me just the same.  And until I can learn to not compare myself, I will not be content no matter the size pants I wear.

~*~*~*~*~*~

Below is my pregnancy update photo...enjoy!

Those are the updates this week that I can think remember.  In two weeks I will be attending my baby shower and I am exited to see what my wonderful friends have come up with to celebrate little Declan's impending arrival!  To spend time at a girl party sounds absolutely fabulous right now!  And to see what tasty treats they come up with....mmmmm....[drooling]... What?  Don't judge, I am pregnant you know...


Cheers!

~N~